i love you both.

"I love you both, I know I'm drunk but I mean it"

My head keeps going in the same circles over and over.
I don't know what to say, to either.
I'm not handling this properly but sometimes I think I am.
It seems so easy until I'm face to face,
I forget ,what minutes before, I pulled up all my courage to say.
I know what I should be saying, I know what I shouldn't be doing.
but I'm not saying it and I keep going.
what the hell is wrong with me?


I feel like I deserve this, that I should be able to keep this,
at least for a little while.
But I know that the person I love most with my whole entire heart and soul,
the person who turns my world and holds my entire universe,
does not deserve what it's doing to her.

what the fuck am I doing?
I know the answer in my head but I can't bring myself to let it out....