I can't fight it

I lie awake at night, starring at the ceiling,
how many nights over the years have I spent like this.
The walls know more about me than most people in my life,
they hold me in, keep every last one of my secrets.
I can't sleep alone in the dark, but the buzz from my lights makes me restless most nights, I know I should get up and do something, occupy my mind
but it's so hard when the blankets are begging me to stay, covered up, hidden.

I guess this is just me missing your face beside mine on the pillows most nights.
I keep thinking you're lying beside me in the morning, and honestly, that is the worst feeling in the world, because after those two seconds of bliss, after rolling over and remembering you aren't there, my whole day goes down the drain
and I'm not even out of bed yet.