you are my sunshine...

I've ruined it.
Broken what built me up.

I don't know why I do the things I do.
I don't know why I chucked my coffee on the ground.
I was disgusted with myself.
Sitting there in front on you,
Head in my hands, crying with a broken heart.
You put your hand on my leg and I felt so much worse.
Your touch felt good, and usually makes everything stop.
But I felt worse because I knew it was wrong, because I knew you shouldn't have been trying to make me feel better.
I broke you down, I fucking tore us apart and you still tried to make me feel better!
what the fuck goes on in my head, why can't I make the changes I need.
Turning point.
Turning point.
Turning fucking point.
The world has stopped spinning, my sun doesn't shine and I can't even breathe.
what's more of a problem is that You can't breathe.
So it's come to this.
So definitely not now
Probably not soon
but
please please please
not forever.
I'm going to camp tomorrow, I want to go sit in the back field.
I wanna chain smoke with you.
I wanna chase stupid animals and sit there crying beside you again.
You've got this huge part of me, hidden away in you.
It's hurts but keep me there. I'm begging you.


"I wish love was enough"
I love you so much, It's the only thing I can offer you.
I took everything else and fucked it up.