12:06 am.
The screen door slams behind me as I walk out.
From light to dark in one motion.
I make my way down the slope, it's a shortcut to the road.
I walk quietly passed the cottages so I don't disturbed anyone,
the beach looks calm and quiet. beautiful.
I walk past it quickly, I can't be there at night.
Every time I walk past the beach and the ecology center, all I remember is waking up in those spots years ago when I was camper.
Tell me what you know about night terrors, nothing.
I don't have a flashlight, I never do, what's the point when the moon is so bright?
that god damn moon, the same every night. always reminding me of....everything.
I stop in beaver meadow, sit on the fence we built years ago.
I sit and I stare up. you forget how many stars there is sometimes.
I jump off and walk quickly to site, no feelings hit me yet because I'm nervous walking down the only dark road in camp.
I'm not afraid of falling, I know every rock, root and hole by now.
I make it to my hammock, crawl into my sleeping bag and try to avoid what comes next.
I can stare out the mesh and look at the lake, it's amazing.
water.mist.stars.
It looks like I'm floating at the end of the universe from my point of view.
Everything flows over me, gets under my skin I lie awake for hours before actually falling alseep.
I don't ever want to think again some nights, it's just too much.
I don't even know what to say about it or how to explain what goes on in my thoughts.
I wrote your name on my hand but it washed off in the rain.
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