I keep spacing out
making scenarios in my head
I've been doing that too much lately.

Writing a different play in my head every few minutes.
Changing the way I act, the way people react.
I find ways to fit people into everything like puzzle pieces.
I don't know why,
I guess because nothing is fitting properly anymore.
I don't like the way my words fall off my tongue
the way my hair just touches my shoulder,
I hate the way my clothes touch my body.
It's all too much or never enough.

I hate when this happens because I feel the need to start everything over,
the problem is that I'm already in the middle of that process.
I can't stand this feeling.
It's like I'm drowning, at any moment I could just swim up and gasp for air, but for some reason I stay under.
It's familiar, I'm weightless.
I no longer exist when I'm underneath every wave of emotion.
Dramatic, probably. It doesn't matter.
The fact is that I'm under all that water and there's nothing anyone can do about it.