DFKH

I wore yellow, you wore green.

I was so nervous I barely remember walking through camp.
I know it was just starting to get dark.
I knew the path down to the dock by heart.
Holding hands, I lead you between the tree's and rocks.
You let me sit down where it was dry and sat down beside me on the wet wood.
We tangled our legs together.
The quiet was nice and the conversation was light
but meaningful.

God is great beer is good and people are crazy
Between our words, in the small seconds of silence
my i-pod was playing music.
and all the broken hearts, that hang around here.

"Marianas trench is my favorite band, you wanna hear my favorite song?"
"Play it."
So we sat there, quiet.
I mouthed the words and hummed along.
we kissed and smiled and laughed,
everything was beautiful and nothing hurt.

It was another world.
Where camp didn't matter and neither did time,
only us sitting by the water.
Someone across the lake set off fireworks.
I felt my heart quicken and my breath shorten,
panic. fear. panic.
You held onto to me, you told me you were there,
you'd always be there. I'm safe, it's okay.
Everything is fine.
I don't know how many times you repeated it to me,
over and over and over again.
You drained out the ugly and injected love.

Everything changes and you won't be at camp this summer.
I've seen you once since then, it wasn't enough for me.
I'm going to wake every morning,
look at that broken dock and realize I won't see you that day.
It's unnatural.
I'm sorry you're not sorry.